Tips and Tricks for getting Toddlers Prepared for the NEW Addition(s) || Toddler Overnight Bag Checklist

Adding a new baby to the family is always a blessing, but it doesn't come without a little anxiousness and worry along the way. Whether its praying for a smooth and safe delivery for mamas and babies, and/or hoping for a smooth transition with the older siblings when baby makes their debut, I'm here to share a few tips and tricks that have worked well for me when welcoming a new baby into our family.

Preparing them mentally and emotionally for the babies’ arrival.

Preparing a toddler for the arrival of a new baby is an important step in ensuring a smoother transition for the entire family. Here are some tips and tricks that may help you prepare your toddler:

1. Start early: Begin talking about the new baby well in advance of their arrival, so your toddler has time to adjust to the idea. Ask them what names they think you should name the new baby. 
2. Read books: There are many children's books available that can help explain the concept of a new baby to your toddler. Reading these books together can help them to understand what is about to happen. 
3. Visit other babies: If possible, arrange for your toddler to spend time with friends or family who have infants. This will help them get used to the idea of having a baby around and practice being gentle around the baby.
4. Maintain routines when possible: Keep your toddler's daily routines as consistent as possible, so they feel secure and have a sense of normalcy amidst the changes. 
5. Talk about their role: Explain to your toddler what their role as a big brother or sister will be. Emphasize how they can help take care of the baby, such as by fetching diapers or singing lullabies. One idea is to put baby’s car seat in the car earlier in your third trimester and talk about the new baby during car rides. 
6. Show love and attention: Ensure your toddler continues to receive plenty of love and attention from both parents, even after the baby arrives. Spend one-on-one time with them when the baby is asleep or when dad is spending time with baby.
7. Share stories and pictures: Share stories and pictures of your toddler's own babyhood, emphasizing how you cared for them when they were little. This can help them feel more connected to the new baby.
8. Seek to understand their feelings: Your toddler will likely express their feelings and concerns about the new baby. Make sure to listen to their emotions and reassure them that it's okay to feel a range of emotions and let me know you understand. Toddlers are just like the rest of us, a little understanding and empathy when you're going through a big change goes a long way for them.
9. Plan special moments: Create special moments for your toddler and the new baby to bond, such as having them help with feeding or diaper changes (under supervision) or reading a story together. They will love being involved and feeling like they have an important role as a big sibling. 
10. Be patient: Understand that it may take time for your toddler to adjust to the new addition. They might exhibit regressive behavior or act out. This is totally normal so stay patient, provide love and support and have a good cry to release your emotions as needed.
11. Seek help when needed: If your toddler is having a particularly difficult time adjusting, reach out to friends and family to come play with your toddler or to hold the new baby between feedings so you can spend some quality time with them. 

Remember that every child is unique, and the transition to becoming a sibling can vary from one toddler to another. Be flexible and adapt your approach as needed to meet your child's individual needs during this exciting time. It's totally normal for toddlers to have melt downs and it doesn't reflect poorly on your parenting when they do. It simply means they are adjusting to their new normal and are looking for comfort and affirmations from their parents that all is still well in this big old world!

Tips and Trick to make the Adjustment Smoother. 

If possible, make sure to have them stay with a close family member or familiar caretaker. It will help to have a smoother sleepover if they have a familiar face they trust to watch them during their time away from mom and dad. 

Ask the family member or caretaker to sleep over at your house so your kids are in their normal day to day environment during your time at the hospital. This helps my kids to feel less lonesome or nervous. 

Buy a gift for your toddlers and say it's from the new baby when you get home from the hospital with your newest addition. This is a great way to give them a positive association with the arrival of a new sibling. This was especially effective with our younger toddlers that didn't fully understand the concept of a new sibling.

Quick check list for toddlers when mom and dad are at the hospital.

• favorite blanket and pillow
• favorite snacks and foods
• favorite stuffed animals, toys or games
• diapers, wipes, butt creams and any other personal hygiene items they need.
• 3 sets of clothes and 2 sets of pajamas 
• written schedule for the sitter regarding wake/nap/bed times. Don't forget to let the caretaker know of any allergies your older toddlers/kids may have. 
• anything that makes it feel like home. 

Sharing my personal experience, I've learned that providing understanding, patience, and frequent communication is essential when helping a toddler adjust to the arrival of a new sibling. It's remarkable how the initial reactions of older siblings can vary greatly, highlighting the importance of tuning in to their individual needs and emotions during this transitional period. You know your toddlers and babies best, so don't worry if your approach is different than others.

In our case, our oldest son had a challenging time when we returned home with baby #2. Although he greeted us with huge hugs, he also expressed his disappointment at being left behind by attempting to hit us. It was heart-wrenching, as we were excited to introduce him to his new sister, yet we understood his feelings of being left out. He ran outside to be outside alone. We knew he wanted validation that we love him and missed him, so we went outside to sit with him, without his new baby sister, until he felt loved and understood enough to come back inside. This experience was an emotional rollercoaster for me, from excitement to tears, as I navigated my hormones and the crazy mix of emotions.

For our subsequent babies, he was better equipped to understand the situation and knew that Mom and Dad were temporarily gone but would return. Having other siblings at home with him for babies #3 and #4 also seemed to provide a support system, allowing him to help and bond with his younger siblings. Additionally, giving him a special gift from the baby worked wonders in creating a positive association with the arrival of a new sibling. Each family's experience is unique, but my hope is that our story can serve as a reminder that it's normal for toddlers to have mixed emotions during this adjustment period and that, with time and care, they can adapt and embrace their new roles as big brothers or sisters.

XXX Jessie